Missing Menhera☆Changing Special Interests, Low Motivation, and Guilt

Around two or so years ago I discovered Menhera. So, what is Menhera? The word itself comes from the English words 'mental healther' and was inititally just a Japanese slang term to describe those who suffer with mental health issues. Eventually a kind of subculture formed around the word that focused on the creation of mental health-related vent art and from this a fashion style also emerged. 

Menhera fashion - like the subculture it itself - quite simply focuses on expressing ones own personal struggle with mental health issues. Since it's quite a personal style and made to be accessible to all kinds of people regardless of any possible health issues, there aren't any specific 'rules' to the fashion. It's really about what 'mental health' means to the individual wearing the style. There are however, certain styles and themes that are popular, as well as lines that individuals are encouraged not to cross. Such as, for example, imagery that may be overly triggering to others or items that give the impression of wearing mental health issues as a 'costume', rather than for purposes of raising awareness or venting.

A typical Menhera look may consist of a T-shirt featuring some kind of mental health-related vent art, pastel colours and cute imagery that is tainted somewhat by sickness, and medicine-inspired accessories (featuring items such as bandages, syringes, and pills). None of these things are completely necessary however. For example, black and red is also popular in the style as opposed to only wearing pastel colours. 

 

 

I started properly wearing Menhera in 2020. Due to lockdown I had a lot of freetime on my hands and began experimenting with lots of creative outlets, including my personal style. I started off with Pastel Goth (a style that can easily be paired with Menhera) as I slowly began to build up my wardrobe with Menhera items. 

Menhera eventually became my main style and I wore it almost everyday. It just felt so right for me and on days where I was feeling down, I could put on an outfit, draw some (very bad) Menhera art, or listen to music from some of my favourite Menhera artists and I'd feel at least a little better. Wearing Menhera made me feel cute and confident. Mental health had always been very important to me so I loved being able to express that through fashion, plus I just adored the 'cute pastel colours tainted with something a little darker' aesthetic that was so common in the style.

 

Then - as I mentioned briefly in my introduction post - earlier this year I just suddenly lost interest in all of the things I used to love, including Menhera. Being someone whose special interests regularly change, this normally wouldn't have been that big of a deal. Except this time, I really thought I'd found who I was. I really thought I'd continue to wear Menhera fashion for the forseeable future and I had countless ideas for all sorts of Menhera-related projects I wanted to create. It really felt like a large piece of me had been ripped out and I was just an empty shell with no personality.

It wasn't just about me. Through Menhera, I'd wanted to try and help others by talking about mental health issues and raising awareness, but all of a sudden there was just no steam there and it sucked. Thinking about anything to do with Menhera just made me sad and angry at my 'lack of commitment' so I just avoided it altogether. As silly as it sounds, even now, the idea of putting any effort into my apperance seems somehow wrong and I continue to wear plain T-shirts and leggings everyday as a kind of mourning for something that I used to feel so passionate about. 

What inspired me to write this blog post now? My favourite Menhera artist is a singer/songwriter called Takayan. All of his songs are incredibly catchy and the lyrics are so relatable, often speaking to me about very specific emotions or situations that I literally felt like I was the only person in the world to have experienced (His song, 'Falling In Love Deeper Than Any Other Fan' was literally my theme song when there as a particular Jpop idol that I got way too attached too, but that's a story for another time). It's not just his music I love but I also love him as a person as he's so sweet and open-minded about all sorts of different 'controversial' topics that he explores through his music. I love that he doesn't care about gender roles (he does muscle-training so he's extremely buff but that doesn't stop him from wearing cute dresses in a lot of his videos). He also studies English and tries his best to speak to his non-Japanese fans during his streams and such.

Just today, he uploaded a new updated version of one of his most famous Menhera songs, "Isn't Menhera a god?" and listening to it sent me sprilalling through all sorts of feelings. It made me miss Menhera. It made me feel guilty for not having the same passion for Menhera. It made me happy that Takayan's still doing well and continues to get better and better with each new release. Most of all, it made me excited because it's even more of a bop than the original version. 

I snooped around on Facebook and Instagram for a while after listening to it, looking over all the Menhera things I posted in the past. I'm still not completely sure how I feel about it all. Who am I? Am I still the same person who posted those things? Will I ever go back to Menhera?  

Change is the only constant in life, is it okay that I've changed so much? Will I ever find the 'one thing that I'm meant to stick to'? Does that one thing even exist or is it okay for me to keep changing? Who knows?

All I know right now is that Takayan makes some great bops that I really like listening to and relate to, Menhera was a meaingful creative outlet for me in the past and could be again, and there are lots of other interesting things out there for me to try so for right now at least, there's no need to limit myself to just one thing.

Do you have any past interests that you miss from time to time? Let me know in the comments!