Redoing☆Childhood

Despite all of the improvements I've made other the last few years in regards to my abilities and my own confidence in said abilities, one area that I continue to struggle in is endevours that involve other people and my place in relationships with other people. As I've mentioned in the past, I grew up with a condition called selective mutism. Because of this I struggled to make friends (probably an understatement) but what I desperately wanted more than anything was to have a small group that I fit in with. It all started when I first moved up to secondary school and I began my "emo phase". I tried so hard to fit in with the other alternative kids and although they often tolerated me I still felt awkward and uncomfortable, and like I was the one person in the group that didn't really belong there.   After my emo phase I went into my "weeb phase". Much the same thing happened except at the time there weren't really any other anime fans at my school s...

Over the past few years I've managed to overcome a lot of obstacles and do many things I never thought I'd be able to do as an autistic teen with a very low opinion of myself and my abilities. Such as, for example, going to university, moving out of my parents' house, and traveling. One area that I continue to stuggle in however, is finding employment and having confidence in my ability to find and actually maintain said employment. I was at college for about 5 years and in that time I completed several unpaid work placements. Since the placements were arranged through my college and it was a disability-specialist college that I went to, allowances could be made for my needs and I was able to work in very chill and autism-friendly environments.  Since leaving college though, I've been on the lookout for actual paid work. Many workplaces sport the 'disability confident' label with pride and are more than willing to welcome employees with autism and other disabili...

This isn't my first blog and will it be my last? Who knows? So here's a story I'm almost tired of telling at this point; I have autism. A common 'symptom' of autism is what's known as special interests. What are special interests then? Special interests are a particular topic, thing, person etc. that a person with autism will develop a fixation with, often causing them to neglect other interests or even necessities in favor of this one thing that seems to demand all of their attention. Special interests aren't always a bad thing. The image of autism that's often painted in media afterall is of the autistic person who may have poor social skills or be lacking in other areas but their almost 'obsessive' interest in a particular subject has led them to become an expert at it, allowing them to achieve great success. For a lot of autistic people though, this can be far from the truth. What happens when your special interest is something other people d...